Can I keep her?

I promise I will feed, walk, and pick up after her every day... please, please.


Unfortunately little Meghan is a very cranky and disagreeable baby. This photo was taken during her 5 minutes of happiness for my sister's entire month long stay. She is cute though.

p.s. Don't adjust you screen; my head really is that large. Oh the curse of the Irish!

Today's news

Quinn must be obsessed with the food chain lately.

Today's lesson for me was that, "we don't eat goats". I said some people do, especially in Jamaica; those jerks! I bet jerk goat is pretty good though I don't think I could ever try it as I find goats to be very cute. Quinn must think they are cute as well.

New revelations

Quinn just got done telling Eddy and me very resolutely, that "we don't eat seals!". Where the hell did that come from? I asked him if he was an Eskimo and he said no. Funny boy.

We went to Paper Source today so I could buy some supplies to make his birthday invites with and on the way home he was tugging at his hair and kept saying, "cut hair, cut hair", so I granted his wish (because I am up for that mother of the year award). If you need to know anything about Quinn, know that he absolutely despises getting his hair cut. I have always done it at home myself because I knew he would scream and I didn't want to pay someone else to make him scream when I could do it for free. Today I branched out. We were near the exit for the Kids' Hair so I drove the car up the ramp like we were being chased by the po'lice. We walk in the door and Quinn is initially all excited because he see the cool chairs with TV's in front of them and then he realizes he is being duped and starts shouting, "let me out, let me out". Luckily they had a sort of chest strap on the chair (not like a torture device or anything) which dramatically minimized his thrashing ability. He did scream the whole time but the lady was very good and quick. The bonus was that he got to watch the Wiggles during the ordeal and he got a little sucker at the end. All in all it was worth the money and we will be going there from now on. I will try to post a photo as soon as I download some.

White on Rice

(Also entitled: Kerry goes to see Damien Rice in concert)

We went out to see Damien Rice (and Fiona Apple, though I really only cared about Damien Rice) last Friday, sans Quinn (which was nice for a change). He is just phenomenal; a beautiful melancholy about his music, very Irish in that poetic nature. It touches this Irish girl's soul. I really don't think you can listen to his music and not feel something; unless you have no sould or something. Plus he gets lots of bonus points for incorporating a shit-load of cello music in his songs. It just works so well with his guitar. Anyhoo... I highly recommend him, and if the fates are so alligned that Damien himself is reading this, I will come and play cello for you anytime. My cello is aching to get out of its case more often.

I am so proud of my big-headed fellow Irish people.

Bird brain boy

So I got this bird feeder for our yard awhile back (you know, the cheap $3 cylindrical kind) during a difficult trip to Home Depot with Quinn. Difficult in that I was actually trying to buy some stuff I needed to refinish some Adirondack chairs and Quinn only wanted to look at the mowers (or tractors as he likes to call them). Sometimes if you give him a task, and make it seem like he is really helping you out, you might get an additional 3 minutes of real shopping in. Thus the bird feeder. He felt very important carrying that around.

He has watched me fill it with birdseed several times now, and really enjoys watching the birds eating the seeds just off of our side porch. So we are going to run some errands in the car last week and he is waiting for me in the garage as I quickly put the dogs in the laundry room. I walk out into the garage to find him digging through the bag of birdseed (which you could tell he knew he wasn't supposed to be doing as he covered his eyes; his latest thing where he thinks I can't then see him) and he has got some birdseed on his lip. I brush that off and get him in his car seat. As I am buckling him up he likes to tell me important things. On this particular day he says, "Mommy... We no eat birdseed. It's very crunchy (as he fishes out a sunflower seed)". What a funny boy he is. Some of the things that come out of his mouth lately just really crack me up. The development of language is just a phenomenal process.

Here he is celebrating the 4th of July with his cousin Nicholas from Australia. We had a big parade in our neighborhood with all the kids decorating their bikes, stroller, wagons, etc. Both Quinn and Nicholas loved it and felt very important to be marching and waving to the onlookers.






Just because I think they are pretty, here are the flower boxes and urns I planted. I am very proud of myself as I have never done any type of gardening before.

Been in a funk

So I have been in a funk as of late, mostly due to our inability to conceive. I do have an appt. set up for the end of the month with my OB to discuss what options we have. Since my sister has been in town with her newborn baby girl it has sort of opened the wound of losing my baby girl in February. I find myself wondering what she would have looked like, what she could have become, and envisioning moments that we will never share together. It is hard to describe the loss and the pain that surrounds it, especially if one hasn't experienced it for themselves (not that I would wish that upon anyone). I think some people think I should be over it; my mother included. I don't think she understands how it kills me to listen to her talk about little girls and their cute clothes, etc.

Will I ever get the chance to have a baby girl, or any baby for that matter?

I am totally ready to adopt a baby girl from Thailand (or China) but Eddy isn't quite there yet. I am under the feeling that this process could take 2+ years so why not start today. Eddy wants to wait to see if we are going to be able to conceive on our own, and I don't fault him for that as I still want to have babies of our own as well. Somehow I always wanted to adopt and now I feel like something is telling me that if we did, that the soul of the baby we lost would be reborn into the baby we would adopt- a Buddhist influence surely to contradict my Catholic upbringing, but one that gives me some peace to think about.

My beautiful boy

Sometimes I look at him and just can't get over how much I love him and how beautiful he is. Who knew we could create such a looker?